joey made a cartoon

fatkid.pdf

 

nectar of a slug

 

monarch butterflies

progress remains out of sight

getting laid today

 

Hippies

 

Musings on Philosophy

 

Grand Mother City of the Universe

So I’m here at a Starbucks just outside of Times Square posting to you today. I have moved into Williamsburg, Brooklyn (sorta) and I just travelled uptown to set one of my helpful family members on their proper transportation home. So far, I have no bed, no couch, no internet, and no…love. Please, Grand Mother City of the Universe, cradle me in your arms and provide security for me. Tell me, “All is well Mr. Attki, you will fly like a dove, wings outstretched, and drop soggy wet bombs on the masses that line 42nd Street.” Love me.

 

Civil War Re-enactment Weekend!

In addition to being the day taxes are due this year, April17th also has tremendous historical significance.  The last Union officer killed in action in the civil war was none other than Lieutenant Edward L. Stevens, who was killed in a skirmish at Boykin’s Mills, near Sumter, South Carolina on April 17th 1865.  Stevens was a New England patriot, a member of the 54th Massachusetts volunteers.  I humbly place his name here so that he may never be forgotten.  To honor the memory of this oft-forgotten hero, the Lackawanna Review staff got together this weekend for a good, old fashioned Civil War Re-enactment. 

 

Pride of the Commonwealth

Fitzy’s Wicked Pissah

Baseball fans are the yardstick of American cities.   Do you love the dirty water?

 

Sex is a Misunderstanding

It was a somewhat warm spring night in April when Lucy had called me to have a drink or two at the local watering hole.  A light rain had been showering the area, so I put on my trench and began walking to the bar.  This particular bar went by the name of “Sharon McNalley’s”, and while it shared it an Irish name, the patrons consisted mainly of buff Italian twenty-somes with greased hair and tight polo shirts that made their chest look like two hams with buttons affixed to the middle. 

When I arrived at McNalley’s, I was greeted by the Thursday bartender, Al, who never seemed grow tired of wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey.  As I made my way around the bar, I spotted Lucy sitting at a table in a dark corner just behind the pool table.  Two over serious types were playing, and I had to wait for a moment as I turned the corner so that one of them could miss a routine shot at the eight ball.

“Hey Lucy, what’s up?”

“Oh hey Mike!  How are you!”

“I’m good, very good…”

I sat down.  Lucy was looking delightful.  She was a relatively small girl, short in stature, though incredibly fit.  She was a gymnast, and I can imagine where a man’s thoughts can travel at the mention of that notion.  Twisting, turning, oh, you know the story…  However, I did not, and as you can imagine, I was wanting to discover that for myself. 

 

Notes from the Troposphere

 

I’m Thinking About Suing the City About That.

You callin me a liar?

Shortly after this meeting, Scranton mayor “Chrisnocchio” Doherty and city council president ”Judas” Gatelli conspired to violate citizens’ rights and severely compromise the entertainment value of public access television. How? I tink maybe youse guys need to wait fudda update.