March 31, 2007
You callin me a liar?
Shortly after this meeting, Scranton mayor “Chrisnocchio” Doherty and city council president ”Judas” Gatelli conspired to violate citizens’ rights and severely compromise the entertainment value of public access television. How? I tink maybe youse guys need to wait fudda update.
March 29, 2007
CAVEAT: No doubt lesser minds of a lower city would like to trivialize this piece with the label hate, I prefer and intend this as provocative. It’s convenient for this to be a hate piece, as any contribution to Philly’s atmosphere of self-hatred is in fact a contribution of tremendous utility to the people of philadelphia. I say this because other than vast blight, self-hatred (with the delusions of grandeur that follow) is the closest Philadelphia ever comes to culture. (more…)
March 28, 2007
March 23, 2007
March 23, 2007
It was a clear and sunny day when I arrived in Maryland. It was not overwhelmingly warm, as it was just one of those early springtime days that gives the local citizens some inspiration to leave the house, wear brightly-colored clothing, and drive around with the windows of their automobiles opened. As I approached the estate, I experienced a feeling of nostalgia, as the surrounding neighborhood reminded me of a similar Maryland neighborhood that I had visited long ago. It represented the remnants of a small town on the outskirts of a major city which was now being overwhelmed by gentrification, as large multi-story estates began popping up amidst the quaint ’70s townhouses. My subject happened to live in one of the aforementioned luxurious estates. The house was made of some kind of stone material with subtly contrasting shades of grey, which really made it look like it was intended to be some masonic temple.
March 20, 2007
A while ago, Joey instructed me to contribute to the Lackawanna Review or face certain death. Admittedly, I’ve been so busy treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry that it’s taken me some time to get started on this blog. Also, Timmie’s AIDS-capade in Senegal slowed things up, since he couldn’t grant me contributor rights until a few minutes ago. Apparently, they don’t have computers in Africa, or New Rochelle.
March 19, 2007
It has been brought to my attention that my poem, the Enlightened Observer is a terrible piece of poetry. I will certainly agree with the fact that it is not a “classic” by any standards, but I believe that the tone of commentary is a bit harsh. For those of you who are incapable of appreciating a bit of carefree Silversteinesque fun, I provide this for you:
March 19, 2007
HEY GUYS!
Listen, this blogazine is really awful. And surprisingly, it is already insular.
Even though it is beneath me, I am going to help you out because I feel bad for you non-newspaper losers. Better put on some goggles, here comes a moneyshot of journal-gism in your sight-holes:
The equestrian center planned for the former Naval Academy Dairy Farm in Gambrills has been stopped at the gate…
March 18, 2007
“Let me tell you how I make the corned beef. First I take a nice, fresh cut of meat from the butcher. Sixty pounds of fresh meat. I soak it in water and spices and I soak it for many days. And then I take out the sixty pounds of meat and I put it in the water and I bring the water to a boil. And after it is boiling for some time, I add many vegetable. Cabbage. Potato. Rutabaga. Turnip. I work in Irish restaurant for six years, and that is where I learned to make the corned beef. And I make it every year on the happy St. Paddy’s Day.” (more…)
March 10, 2007
